Subject:  Viridian Note 00006:  Floods

Key concepts:  Floods; unnatural disasters; safety 
checklists; recovery procedures;  literary criticism

Attention Conservation Notice:  Grimly accurate; contains 
tedious, gritty minutiae about one of life's worst 
experiences; comes in two parts

Source:   University of Minnesota Extension Service Home 
Page

Links:  
http://www.extension.umn.edu/Documents/K/A/afterflood.html


The University of Minnesota's Extension Service has been 
kind enough to publish a very extensive web document about 
the situation one faces after a flood.

    Global warming does not mean merely that the globe 
gets warmer.  Climatic patterns also become more erratic.  
This means anomalous rainfall and more floods.  This 
summer there was an area the size of Europe underwater in 
Asia.  As I type this, a Category 5 hurricane, the fourth-
largest every recorded, approaches much-suffering Mexico, 
bearing storm surge and flood.  My own home town was 
copiously flooded just last week.

    Floods are one of the consequences of global warming 
that are most likely to directly affect  your home, your 
business, your possessions, your loved ones, your city, 
your nation, your economy.  Those of you who have never 
experienced or seen a flood are increasingly likely to do 
so.

    Floods are very exciting to watch (which is why young 
children often die in them).  They are also very 
disorienting (which is why old people often die in them).   
People who safely resist the exhilirating drama of a flood 
will survive, to find themselves dealing with its many 
tedious and dispiriting consequences.

    This is where the Viridian sensibility comes in.  
We're not particularly interested in the brief spectacular 
period of the flood proper.  But we're very interested in 
what a 21st century society will feel like, and act like, 
as it experiences repeated, widespread episodes of "flood 
recovery."

    The Minnesota "After the Flood" document suggests 
useful tool kits, and gives all manner of handy hints on 
drying, ventilation, personal safety, insurance 
documentation, home repair -- everything from mildewed 
wallpaper to portable toilets: 10,253 words.   I will 
briefly excerpt this document in two Viridian Notes, and 
subject it to literary criticism. My comments are in 
triple parentheses.

(((The opening table of contents conveys the long-
lingering aroma of the flood-recovery experience.)))

After the Flood

     Safety Rules and Recovery Procedures After a Natural 
Disaster

     Restoring Electrical Service After a Flood  (((The 
very first order of business is to renew CO2 
consumption.)))

     Disposing of Sewage and Garbage (((Floods are 
unexcelled at transforming your possessions into "sewage" 
and "garbage."  That which does not wash away is often 
ruined.))) 

     Priorities for Clean-Up and Repair  (((Flood recovery 
is a very big job.  It is a major life trial.  Make a list 
first.  Make *several* lists.)))

     Supplies and Equipment for Home Clean-Up (((We learn 
that these are rubber gloves, boots, buckets, crowbars, 
hammers, screwdrivers, sponges, scrub brushes, garbage 
bags, brooms, shovels, hoes, wheelbarrows, washtubs == and 
so on.)))

     Cleaners and Disinfectants  (((In traditional 
societies, floods were commonly followed by plagues.   
This time-honored principle will still hold true in global 
areas short of cheap disinfectant.)))

     Mildew-Removing Procedures  (((Various damp-happy 
microorganisms will attack both your health and your 
possessions.)))

     Checking Damaged Buildings  (((You might wade free of 
rising water, but having a flood-wrecked house fall on you 
is quite a different matter.  Electrocutions and gas 
explosions are also lively possibilities.)))

     Cleaning and Repairing Flooded Basements

     Finding and Repairing Leaks in Roofs

     Getting Rid of Flood Odor  (((Lingering stenches are 
the very signature of the Greenhouse Effect.)))

     Opening Flooded Windows

     Replacing Broken Window Panes

     Cleaning Flooded Floors And Woodwork

     Treating Warped And De-Laminated Floors

     Drying Walls

     Cleaning Interior Walls

     Repairing Exterior Siding

     Patching Plaster

     Installing Wallboard

     Installing Paneling

     Wallpapering

(((You can struggle free of destitution and chaos in a 
matter of days -- but those last eleven items show that 
it's a long, long march back to conventional, G-7 style 
domestic reality.)))

Bruce Sterling (bruces@well.com)))